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The Bully Spectrum
Your Child Could Be a Bully or a Victim
By Melanie VanNuys
Maybe we've seen a bigger kid shoving a littler kid around, or a girl with less money shunned because her clothes aren't nice enough or she doesn't live in the right neighborhood. Either situation involves bullying, and it's a serious problem in elementary and middle schools nationwide. "It begins closer to third grade and escalates into fourth grade where they begin separating into bullies and victims," says Terra Rogers, fourth grade teacher at Pleasant Hill Elementary School in Steubenville, Ohio.
There's no one reason why kids bully. Maybe they do it because they see others doing it and getting away with it. Or maybe it's because they want to fit in with a particular crowd. Regardless, parents need to be aware of different types of bullying situations and how to respond when their child is either the bully or the victim.
Some people argue that bullying is just a "rite of passage," but that certainly doesn't make it acceptable. "Growing up, we all go through these situations where we are the victims of hurtful situations," Rogers says. "As long as it doesn't get out of hand, it can be seen as a rite of passage." But Rogers also agrees that there are extreme cases, which is why she tells her students they are a family when they are in school, and if any of them feel afraid, she wants to know right away. "Some kids are afraid to go home at night, too," she says. "With no home life and scared at school, kids can turn to drugs and alcohol for release."
