Freedom of Speech?

Children Who Speak Their Minds

By Carma Haley

The American Heritage Dictionary defines outspokenness as being, "Marked by frankness and lack of reserve." However, parents with outspoken children know there is more to their child then the ability to speak freely. The trait of being outspoken may often become the essence of a child's personality.

"Outspoken children are generally those who feel they have all the answers to each and every question that is asked in their home, at school or with their friends," says Martha Pieper, co-author of Smart Love and columnist for Chicago Parent magazine. "These children tend to share what they know about any given subject with anyone who will listen, appropriately or not, without fear of consequence. Outspoken children may be described as bossy, a know it all, or even rude. As these things may be true descriptions, the terms should be avoided when talking to children about their outspokenness. Terms as these may tend to make children feel bad about themselves, which is not the result parents want."

Regardless of what parents may do to curb their child's outspokenness, these children may still speak their minds freely at the most inopportune times. "While discussing with a friend why I had my children at such a young age, I explained that they weren't actually planned -- they were accidents," says Lynn Rexroat, a mother of four "outspoken" children. "My oldest daughter had overheard the conversation. Now, whenever she feels the need, she repeats the story of how she was an accident."

Parents of outspoken children often find themselves in simple situations where they feel they are safe from any type of outspokenness. Generally, they're wrong. Rexroat learned that no situation is out of bounds for an outspoken child. "My son is small for his age but has never let his size keep him from doing whatever he wants to do," she says. "During a baseball game, the coach began to inform my son that he could not play catcher for various reasons. When my son disproved each of these reasons the coach then informed him that he could not play the position because he was not wearing an athletic cup. My son tried to convince him that indeed he was. When the coach didn't believe him, my son showed his determination by pulling his pants down to prove he was wearing his cup. He then said, 'Got anything else?' Needless to say, my son played catcher that game."

Want to see more?

• Doubletalk: Raising A Bilingual Child
• Where Have the Manners Gone?
• Stuttering: When It Becomes A Problem
• How do you deal with your outspoken child? Tell us at the Preschooler Development Issues Board.
• Excuse Me Please! How To Stop the Interrupting