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Bringing the Lessons Home

An Excerpt From Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really Learn – and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less

By Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D., with Diane Eyer, Ph.D.

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Helping Kids Tune into Their Feelings
While there are many things we can do to foste social development, here are some general suggestions for helping your children to tune in to their own feelings:

  • Avoid ignoring or belittling your child's feelings. Although often you'd wish such moments would just go away, times of emotional upset can be understood as key opportunities for teaching children how to avoid or resolve such situations, while also taking the feelings of others into consideration. View these times as opportunities to teach your children how to make lemonade out of lemons, while still allowing them to experience their feelings of hurt or disappointment. A versatile recipe for lemonade will be very useful for dealing with life's inevitable frustrations.
  • Try to see the world through your children's eyes. Once you do, you'll recognize that the things that cause our children pain are often different from the things that cause us, as adults, pain. You don't want to treat your children any differently than you would want to be treated when you express your emotions. How would you feel if you confided in a friend about something that bothered you and she made fun of you and laughed? Make a point of teaching your child that it's OK to show negative emotion, such as sadness or fear. Likewise, try to demonstrate positive ways of coping with your own anger and negative feelings. Remember: Your children are watching you for lessons on regulating their emotions.

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