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Home › Articles › Family › Mommy and Me

Mommy and Me

The Importance of One-on-One Time

By Carma Haley Shoemaker

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In a world of fast food, quick fixes and high speed everything, it's sometimes hard for parents to remember to slow down and spend some one-on-one time with the little people they live with -- their children.

"Although we seem to be living in an atmosphere that insists that anything worthwhile must be accomplished with quick shorthanded methods, like with technological gimmicks, we are becoming aware of the immense rewards and satisfaction parents can gain from partaking in a child's emotional growth and development," says Dr. Leon Hoffman, co-director of the Parent Child Center in New York. "This can only happen in the one-to-one relationship and interaction."

How important is it to spend time, one-on-one, with children? Through parent-child interaction, children begin to learn lessons that cannot be taught in school.

"A parent getting down on the floor and playing with a child helps the child develop skills in interacting with people and helps the child develop his or her emotional skills," says Dr. Hoffman. "Play is child's work. Through the one-to-one interactions between a parent and a child, children develop a capacity to put their feelings into words and begin to learn about empathy for other people. This kind of learning takes time and requires time spent with our children."

Daughters and Sons
Children, regardless of sex, also require one-to-one time with their mother, away from other siblings and even separate from their father. This time with mom allows children to comprehend, as well as learn from, their mother's personal traits. Children will then be able to see their mother as a person with feelings, words and emotions, not just as a caregiver. "Mothers play an important role in the lives of their children, both boys and girls," Dr. Hoffman says. "Daughters will learn the usual lessons from their mothers, but sons may not be given the opportunity unless one to one time is offered and shared."

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