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Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy!

Confronting Motherhood, Womanhood and Selfhood in a Household of Boys

By Karin Kasdin

To be honest, we did take our little side trips. We managed to visit the bathrooms three or four times an hour each time we went shopping. I would deny them liquids on the night before a designated shopping day. To no avail. I've seen my sons sit through three hours of football while consuming a two-liter bottle of soda apiece and never once take a bathroom break. Why is it they can't spend more than twenty consecutive minutes in a retail clothing establishment without wailing that their bladders are on the verge of explosion? Bathroom jaunts are nightmares for mothers of sons. Before the age of seven or eight it is universally acceptable for little boys to use the women's room with mom. Once they become self-conscious about anatomy differences, however, it isn't fair to embarrass big, strapping boys by forcing them to use the inappropriate lavatory. I believe the first true step toward independence is taken the first time mommy lets her baby boy go into a public men's room by himself. I have imagined every kind of pervert hiding behind the door to hurt or fondle my little na To make myself feel more comfortable I always insisted that Dan maintain a running conversation with me while we were apart. I would stand outside the john door and ask him how everything was coming along or what it looked like in there or if he thought the Knicks would win tonight -- anything to keep the patter going until he emerged safely. He was always either safe or lying, and I always had a headache for the rest of the day.

One of the advantages of having multiple sons is that they oldest can watch the younger ones in the bathroom. I never worried about Andrew or Zack the way I did about Dan. I could relax, knowing that if the younger ones return to me in tears, it's because Dan abused them and not because some demented stranger did.