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The 7 Biggest Discipline Mistakes
A Primer for Puzzled Parents
By Michele Borba, Ed.D.
4. No plan to stop the bad behavior.
Once parents have identified the bad behavior, they need a solid makeover plan to stop it. The plan must (1) address the kid's bad behavior, (2) state exactly how to correct it, (3) identify the new behavior to replace it and (4) have a set consequence if the bad behavior continues.
5. Not teaching a substitute behavior.
No behavior will change permanently unless the child is taught a new behavior to replace it. Think about it: If you tell a kid to stop doing one behavior, what will he do instead? Without a substitute behavior, chances are the child will revert to using the old misbehavior.
6. Going alone.
Big mistake! After all if your kid is using the bad behavior on other caregivers – be it your spouse, grandparents, teachers, daycare providers, coaches, scout leaders, babysitters – then use the same makeover plan together. The more you work together, the quicker you'll be in stopping the problem behavior.
7. Not sticking to the plan long enough.
Learning new behavior habits generally takes a minimum of 21 days of repetition. Parents need to commit to changing the bad behavior and then continue using the plan for at least three weeks. Only then will they see change.
