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Home › Articles › Discipline › Discipline Ideas That Really Work

Discipline Ideas That Really Work

How to Teach Your Kids Without a Power Struggle

By Armin Brott

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At one time or another, all parents struggle with discipline – establishing and enforcing limits and getting their kids to speak to them respectfully and do what they're supposed to do. But remember: Discipline isn't only about correction. It's also about teaching kids to control themselves and care about others so they can grow up to be productive members of society.

Here are 22 approaches you can use to help your kids to do just that:

1. Be Firm
Set reasonable limits, and explain and enforce them.

2. Be Consistent
Your child will learn to adapt to inconsistencies between you and your partner – if you allow jumping on the bed but she doesn't, for example, the child will do it when he's with you and won't when he's with your partner. However, if you allow jumping one day and prohibit it the next, you'll only confuse your child and undermine your attempts to get him to listen when you ask him to do something.

3. Compromise
Kids can't always tell the difference between big and little issues, so give in on a few small things once in a while (an extra piece of birthday cake at the end of a long day might avoid a tantrum). That will give the child a feeling of control and will make it easier for him to go along with the program on the bigger issues (holding hands while crossing the street, for example).

4. Be Assertive and Specific
"Stop throwing your food now" is much better than "Cut that out!"

5. Give Choices
Kathryn Kvols, author of Redirecting Children's Behavior (Parenting Press, 1997), suggests, for example, that if your child is yanking all the books off a shelf in the living room, you say, "Would you like to stop knocking the books off the shelf or would you like to go to your room?" If he ignores you, gently but firmly lead the child to his room and tell him he can come back into the living room when he's ready to listen to you.


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