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The New and Improved Silent Treatment
5 Ways to Connect With Your Children
By Vickie Falcone
When negotiating, making a proposition or answering a question for your child, follow with a moment of silence:
"If we get into the car by 2 p.m., we'll have time to stop by the playground on the way to the Cub Scout meeting." Silence
"No, you may not sleep over at Molly's house tonight." Silence
"You need to wear shoes in the store." Silence
In sales this is known as the "silent close" and can feel uncomfortable at first, especially for those of us raised in the word-ridden Western society. Here is the secret of the silent close: Whoever speaks first after the proposal is offered will make a concession in the negotiation. So make the proposal, then zip your lip. Often you find that the level of cooperation soars.
I heartily agree with Thomas Keating when he wrote in Open Mind, Open Heart: "The deeper your interior silence, the more profoundly God will work in you without your knowing it." As I developed my own silence practice, my parenting instincts improved, and life with the children became smoother. When we regularly experience the soothing experience of silence, we create a well we can draw from when things get hectic.
Try one or more of these ideas for cultivating silence in your life:
- Take five minutes in the morning to sit in silence before joining your family.
- Look for moments in your day when you can sit quietly for a few minutes.
- Exercise in silence.
- Take a walking meditation.
- Do the dishes in silence.
- Enjoy a meal in silence.
- Turn off your car radio or stereo.
