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Double Duty
The Secrets of Sharing a Nanny
By Lisa Cohn
Sharing a nanny can provide young children with critical social skills, imbue kids with a sense of community, save money and create lifelong friendships among parents. However, before parents can reap such benefits, they need to know how to choose the right daycare partners. They must fine-tune their negotiating skills and establish some critical ground rules.
"If done right, nanny sharing can solve all the negatives of early childcare," says Erika Karres, Ed.D., author of Make Your Kids Smarter: 50 Top Teacher Tips (Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2002) and Violence Proof Your Kids Now (Conari Press, 2000). "Your child has a playmate, a stable base, a consistent daycare provider and a loving and stimulating environment."
To help ensure your nanny share will be successful, you and your spouse should begin by identifying three or four important priorities, suggests Karres. Ask your potential nanny share partners to state their priorities, as well. Why do you want to share a nanny? How do you want your child to spend his or her time with the care provider? Do you want the kids to play outside, watch movies, do art projects, learn a foreign language?
"Everyone has radically different parenting styles about issues such as TV watching and naptime," sys Stacy DeBroff, president and founder of Mom Central, Inc. If you can't agree on these issues, you may be in trouble. You may find yourself arguing with your partners and talking behind their backs, she says.
"If you see qualities in the other family that you don't want to be connected to, then you're probably not a good 'fit' for sharing nannies with that family," says Erin Brown Conroy, author of 20 Secrets to Success With Your Child
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