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Double Duty
The Secrets of Sharing a Nanny
By Lisa Cohn
n=right> If you decide the children involved in this daycare arrangement aren't compatible, it's best to start again and find new partners. And if your gut tells you your partners aren't "right," listen to that message! I made the mistake of partnering with the wrong family, then waiting too long before breaking off the relationship. I suffered through too many sleepless nights before moving on and starting all over again.
While you're moving forward slowly with your daycare arrangement, check for signs that the nanny prefers one family or one child over another, advises Conroy. "In sharing nannies, there's a high potential for the nanny to compare children, compare families and build stronger ties with one family over another," she says. "Such unintentional alliances may drive wedges between families and relationships, causing hurt feelings." Communicate with the nanny about your desire for her to treat the families equally.
Once you believe you've found good partners, consider planning weekly meetings with them. "There are always issues that come up," says DeBroff. "You have to almost schedule weekly meetings, even if it is 15-minute phone call."
Once your daycare plan begins working smoothly, congratulate yourself. You have established a very special environment for your child or children: an environment that will reap benefits for years to come.
"Nanny sharing is a community builder," says Nichola Zaklan, a parent in Portland, Ore., who shares a nanny. "It integrates your place in the community as an adult with other parents in a real way. You work hard with other parents to create something that benefits the children."
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