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The Many Faces of Mom
By Debbie Farmer
"I dunno."
"Where's Baby Ben?"
"Who?"
"Why is drool dripping down the side of your chin?"
"I dunno."
Reality Mom arrives during naptime. "So what," I think, "if the wash isn't dry, the only thing clean in the bathroom is soap, and the only thing dusted is the screen on the television so we can see the picture. We're all dressed, fed, wearing clean underwear and don't smell."
Frantic Mom arrives half an hour before dinner. My children look as if they've been run over by a steamroller.
"Back off, kids!" I screech, throwing a bag of frozen peas in the microwave as the buzzer on the dryer rings and Baby Ben howls for milk. "These hands are registered weapons!" I exclaim while karate-chopping the lettuce for salad and drop-kicking the oven door closed. "What do you want from me!" I shriek. "Go back to the television. The macaroni and cheese will be done in a minute!"
My children just stare. My favorite mom is Loving Mom who arrives at bedtime.
"Aren't they sweet?" I coo stroking their hair as they sleep. "I just can't see how you men can work all day and miss out on all of this." I slowly shake my head at my husband. "I just don't understand you at all."
My husband just smiles.
