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Are You New?
When Does Mom Have to Relinquish the Title?
By Karen Edmisten
Mothering, I soon learned, meant sleepless nights, patience through the crying jags (hers and mine) and lots of diapers. It meant talking in a squeaky little voice so foreign to me that I sometimes glanced around to make sure strangers hadn't heard. (Oh, I know – most people at least forgive, and at best admire, a good baby-talker, but I hadn't yet learned that.) And the clich象 Alas, they were all coming true. Having a baby was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. It was a fierce and primal thing that shook me. It did make me reexamine my life, my identity and my shoe size. And, most amazing, I really did enjoy watching my charming little baby daughter sleep. Who knew that somnolence could be so captivating?
All that, I thought, was what it meant to be "a new mother." Ten years have now passed since those first, dizzying newborn days. I've had two more children and three more miscarriages. And here's what I've learned about new mothers: I'm still one.
I was a new mom when our family grew from one child to two, and from two to three. I was new when my eldest trotted off to kindergarten. "I don't know – I'm new at this!" was my mantra when my second child displayed a patently different personality from my first. I was frighteningly new when my daughter was diagnosed with a medical problem. It was new forme to experience a miscarriage with little ones in the house, to hide my crying and grieving, so as not to upset my extremely sensitive eldest child.
I was a new mom when baby No. 3 arrived and offered me the privilege of seeing my daughters puff up with love and pride for their newborn sister. In other words, every phase of life has steered me toward the utterly humbling realization that I will always be a new mom, even when my children reach their teens
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