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Three's a Crowd
When Two Play, One May Stray
By Sharon Waldrop
The old saying, "two's company, three's a crowd," often rings true when it comes to kids playing. As parents of children, many of us have seen the results of a crowded threesome -- one child sadly playing on her own while two others pair up. We have heard the cries of the lone child and can actually feel the pain in our own hearts.
"It is a natural instinct to want to 'pair together' at any age and as a consequence, the third person is often left out," says Lisa Dunning, a marriage and family therapist in Hermosa Beach, Calif.
Dunning says one child will often feel left out or ganged up on and that this is not only an issue for children, but occurs with adults as well.
Perhaps the situation seems so apparent with children because adults are mature enough to handle a pairing-up situation. When this happens amongst adults, there are no tears or complaints of "nobody likes me." Also, adults are more observant of the feelings of others around them and will make an effort to include everyone in conversations and activities, Dunning says.
"Three boys has never been a problem, or two boys and a girl, or even a boy and two girls," Thompson says. In some situations, gender as well as temperament may determine how well three children can blend together.
