Successful Stepparenting

10 Top Tips

By Gwen Morrison

Discipline can be a difficult issue for all families, but it can be even more challenging for stepfamilies. The key to successfully curbing some of the anticipated struggles is to communicate the expectations of everyone in the new family right from the start. Parents need to know what role to play, and the stepparent needs to feel like an "insider." The children should be aware that, though they may not love the new parent immediately, they must treat their stepparent with respect.

This issue raises concerns among many stepparents, biological parents, as well as the children. Some experts believe that the stepparent should not ever take on the role of disciplinarian, while others feel it is imperative in order to maintain the correct balance within the new family.

The key is to take it slowly. "Don't try to overpower the child or displace your spouse, but at the same time, remember that you are a parental figure in the home and shouldn't be afraid to assert your authority," says Karon Goodman, stepmother and author of The Stepmom's Guide to Simplifying Your Life. "Be consistent. Let your stepchildren see how you discipline your own kids. You have to remember, too, that you are the adult."

According to the Stepfamily Association of America, more than half of Americans today have been, are now or will eventually be in one or more step situations in their lives. Being a stepparent is not easy. "I was very surprised at how hard it was," says Goodman. "The biggest problems I faced were my own insecurities. It's very difficult to find your place as a stepmom and to trust yourself with so many decisions to make and so much unfamiliar territory to travel."

Want to see more?

• Behavior Contracts: What Can They Do for You?
• Girl Power: Raising Smart, Bold Girls
• Raising Boys Today
• Talk about it!