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The Truth About Consequences
Natural and Logical Thinking About Discipline
By Lisamarie Sanders
For help determining logical consequences, Dimerman recommends the book Positive Discipline A-Z (Prima Publishing, 1999). "It's like an encyclopedia of different behaviors with logical consequences for each," she says.
Ain't Misbehavin'
When working with children age 3 and younger, parents and caregivers need to keep the child's age and developmental level in mind. "A lot of what appears to be misbehavior is actually normal behavior for that age group," says Dimerman. Things like playing in potted plants, taking the tape out of cassettes, and finger painting with mud are all typical behaviors of curious young children. It isn't naughty; it's normal. She believes these behaviors should not lead to disciplinary actions. "Discipline them in terms of setting boundaries and telling them what's appropriate and what's not, but not in terms of setting up a consequence or time-out." Goldstein agrees, citing unrealistic expectations as the most common barrier to effective discipline. "To punish children for acions over which they have little, if any, control over is unfair," he says. "To teach children self-control, we must be realistic in our expectations."
