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Attention Deficit Disorder
How It Affects the Family By Gwen Morrison
Davis is not alone in his feelings of anger against his sister. He has been living with it for 11 years and has had to make a lot of compromises along the way.
"There were times I didn't think I mattered as much like my parents spent so much time reading books about ADD, and trying to figure out how to help her that I didn't want to bother them about me," says Davis. "It was easier to just hang out with my friends, and leave my parents alone."
Many parents have a difficult time understanding this lack of empathy, and have found themselves resenting their other children for not comprehending their sibling's problems. One way that a lot of families have discovered to prevent some of the resentment is to include the siblings in family discussions about the affected child. It is not a good idea to keep members of the family in the dark about this disorder. Ignorance can be a frightening thing.
Oftentimes a sibling or other family member will go through stages of grief. As in the loss of a family member, they feel that they lost the expectations they once had for that particular relationship. They also feel grief because they don't know how to react to their sibling and are confused about all the anger they are feeling.
It is so important to support each other and accept that this is your family; the good and the bad. It's healthy to be able to work through the emotions of fear, anger and grief, and finally come to accept your child and the dynamics of your family. Joining a support group is a wonderful way for families to be able to confront some of the feelings of anger, confusion, guilt or shame.
The sooner a family understands ADD, the easier it will be to relate to the child ho has the disorder. Whether you are the parent or the sibling, understanding some of the emotions and how to deal with them will put you on the road to living in a healthy, harmonious environment.
