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Happy Birthday Two You
Birthday Party Etiquette for Families With Multiples
By Jennifer Dawn Hans
Planning a birthday party is no small feat for any parent. When you have two (or more) children trying to personalize the same event, it can be doubly difficult.
Traci Barsantee, a mother of 3-year-old triplets from Fort Wayne, Ind., says her girls could not agree upon a
theme for their cake. "We decided they each deserved their own theme," she explains. "I checked into individual cakes, but the local grocery store said the designs were made for large cakes, not small ones."
That's when Barsantee decided to see if a single cake could do triple duty. The baker agreed and created a three-way masterpiece. One third of the cake featured Hello Kitty, another third featured Clifford and the final third featured the Little Mermaid.
Other parents have found it difficult to tactfully address the subject of gifts. Some attempt to word invitations so it's clear that both twins are celebrating their special day, while others keep a few "spare" gifts on hand, just in case one twin ends up with fewer presents to open.
Parents who wish to avoid the awkwardness altogether have been known to come up with some clever ideas, too. One creative option is to have each child bring a wrapped children's book. During the party, each child gets to open a present he or she will ultimately get to take home.
Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a clinical psychologist from Cranbury, N.J., and author of What About Me? 12 Ways to Get Your Parents' Attention Without Hitting Your Sister (Parenting Press, 2005), says a good rule of thumb is to remember "twins are two individuals who happen to have been born on the same day." As you address the range of emotions that seem to go hand-in-hand with birthdays, it may be helpful to ask yourself, "How would we treat any other [non-twin] siblings of similar ages?"
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