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How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies
A Guide for Parents
By Kate Cohen-Posey
| As parents, our instinct is to protect our children from anything that may hurt them – both physically and emotionally. We carry our infants in our arms, feed them when they are hungry and soothe them when they cry. But as our children grow older and begin to take their first steps away from us and out into the world, it becomes more difficult to shield them from its cruelties. The first time our children encounter meanness, we are often at a loss to help them.
The book comprises short sections, so parents don't have to set aside a large chunk of time all at once. Each section presents an explanation of a specific mean behavior followed by ideas for handling that behavior. Designed to be read by parents (or educators) and children together, Cohen-Posey's book features simple language and inviting illustrations to help children discern the person hidden inside the bully. Cohen-Posey suggests some basic tactics for dealing with routine name-calling, including turning insults into compliments, asking questions, and agreeing with the bully. For example, if a bully says, "Your mother is such a pig. She ate all our cookies," Cohen-Posey recommends a reply such as, "Really? I guess we don't feed her enough at home." Answers like this, Cohen-Posey says, take a bully by surprise. By agreeing with what the bully says, you deny him the chance to provoke you into an argument. The book also has a section on advanced techniques including "playing the game," "blocks" and "pushers." To play the game, Cohen-Posey suggests going along with whatever the bully says: a remark such as, "You're so stupid!" can be followed up with, "What does 'stupid' mean?" Blocks and pushers use language to trick the bully into doing something different: "Just try to keep bothering me," or "I dare Want to see more?
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