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Affirming Your Children's Voice
How and When to Encourage Your Child to Speak Up
By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman
Teach your children to communicate their feelings. Use feeling words in their presence often so they develop a broad-based feeling vocabulary. Say, "I'm feeling really frustrated right now," "I get scared when I climb on the roof" or "I'm disappointed that the rain washed out my softball game." By using feeling words yourself, you help your children learn about their own feelings and the need to express them. You give them permission to have feelings and teach them the names for those feelings so they are more likely to articulate them in the future.
Tell your youngster, "You seem really angry with your brother right now. Why not tell him how angry you get when he marks on your paper?" Say to your teen, "Sounds to me like you are deeply disappointed that your dad wasn't there on time. It might be helpful to him and to you to communicate that to him."
Finding and learning how to use their own voice is a lifelong process for children. By implementing the above strategies with respect, patience and understanding, we help our children gain skill and confidence when speaking up for themselves.


