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My Hands Are Full?
Stupid Things People Say to the Parents of Twins By Lisa Smartt
OK. Therapy session over. Breathe deeply. This is not an appropriate reaction. Keep smiling and say, "Sure do." Remember the value of kindness?
Parents of twins face a special brand of stupid comments, delightfully all their own. Three friends, all moms of twins, recently gave me some keen insight from the frontlines. I've compiled their comments into a special list:
14. "Do they have different personalities?" (No. They are the same human being divided into two parts.)
13. Said by a stranger, "They're identical, right?" Mom answers, "No. They're fraternal." Stranger response, "They are NOT!" (OK. You're right. I have no idea what I'm talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It's been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.)
12. "Are they 'paternal' twins?" (Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.)
11. "Just wait till they're older. It only gets harder." (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I'd receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.)
10. "When one cries, does he wake the other?" (No. Twins cannot hear each other's cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)
9. From a perfect stranger: "Were they in the same sac?" (Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?)
8. "Are they developmentally behind?" (Well, let's see. They're 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We'll get back with you on that.)
7. "How do you do it?" (Haven't you seen the Nike commercials?)
