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Peer Pressure
Teaching Our Children to Be True to Themselves
By Gwen Morrison
"I have been trying to teach them not to bend to peer pressure since they were babies," says Yvette DeLuca of Glendale, Ariz. "The favorite saying in our house is 'Weird is good.' My daughter does what she wants, and her friends are blown away."
DeLuca is ultimately telling her children that they are wonderful just as they are. This builds self-esteem at a young age and helps encourage kids to make the right choices when they become adolescents. A child who is confident and self-assured will likely feel less inclined to look for approval by following the crowd.
"Encourage your child's unique qualities and interests," says Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist at the Mailman Segal Institute for Early Childhood Studies in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. "Avoid comparing him to siblings and peers. Help him appreciate what is special and unique about him."
"Pre-adolescents typically value conformity with their peers, and during these years, the peer influences and pressures can be particularly powerful," says Glasser. " They may experience pressure from peers to engage in a variety of behaviors including experimenting with drugs and alcohol and engaging in sexual activity."
Glasser reminds parents that it would be unrealistic to expect that their preteen child could avoid being on the receiving end of some peer pressure. As they go through a series of rapid physical, emotional and social changes, pre-adolescents tend to feel more of a desire to have their peer group as a central role in their lives It is perfectly normal for children this age to pull away from their family and lean more on their friends.
