- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preschoolers today articles
- preschoolers today q&a
- children today articles
- children today q&a
- message boards
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
 |
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
I Win!
Who Really Wins When You Let Your Kids Win? By Gina Roberts-Grey, LCSW
o increase his social sportsmanship. When you're playing a game with him, teach him to share in your success or victory. Encouraging him to cheer on siblings playing together at home will help him demonstrate support for friends in social settings. Saying things like "You and your sister are becoming quite good at checkers" or "Wasn't that a really close game? I can't wait to see who wins next time," suggests that your children support each other's victories, revel in their own personal accomplishments and be compassionate toward each other's disappointments.
Ask for his consoling if he wins at a game of cards and you'll help him learn how to win gracefully and demonstrate compassionate and skillful playing. Ease his disappointment by recognizing his strategic moves, good sportsmanship and increased ability to participate in an activity. Solicit his expertise the next time he plays the game to build his self-esteem while teaching him how to play according to the rules and be gracious.
Play according to the rules. If you do elect to altar the rules to a game, base the new rules on his age and ability to understand the game, instead of merely wanting to make it easier. Allowing extra turns to avoid tears or changing the rules in the middle of playing a game doesn't teach him the coping mechanisms required to face disappointments. These actions teach him he can change rules he isn't fond of to produce his desired outcome.
You want him to learn how to adapt to winning and losing with grace, develop the ability to formulate strategies and to enjoy participating in an activity regardless of the score. Considering the effects of bending the rules to let him win and the life lesson of how to demonstrate good sportsmanship will afford him personal and social respect and esteem throughout his life.
