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When Daddy Doesn't Understand
Supporting a Bedwetting Child Is a Job for Mom and Dad
By Teri Brown
Family support is crucial for the older child who wets the bed.
Kerry Brougham from Portland, Ore., feels that is why her 8-year-old son has handled his nighttime enuresis so well – he has support from both his mother and his father.
"My husband, Tom, has always been very supportive and understanding of our son's bedwetting," Brougham says. "This is huge for us, because our son is very concerned about fitting in and doing things 'right.' If Tom ever made him feel like he wasn't 'normal,' or 'should have grown out of it by now,' our son would be crushed. Instead, Daddy treats this as the normal, physiological thing it is. We all know our son will grow out of it, and until then, we deal with it matter-of-factly, as a family."
Some children are not so lucky. Sometimes fathers are not so understanding.
With so much information on bedwetting available, why are there still fathers who don't get it?
Tammy Gold, a licensed psychotherapist and certified parent coach in New York City, says there could be many different reasons why a dad might not be understanding of his child's bedwetting. "There is a great deal of misinformation regarding nighttime enuresis, such as it was being caused by psychological stressors (which can be true in very few cases) or that the child can control it," Gold says. "Dads could feel nervous regarding the subject because of the misconceptions or uncomfortable in general speaking about subject matters that perhaps were taboo in their homes. This could be especially so if it is a dad speaking to [a] pre-adolescent female child."
