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When Daddy Doesn't Understand
Supporting a Bedwetting Child Is a Job for Mom and Dad
By Teri Brown
Gold says that work also could play a part in it. Some dads spend a great deal of time at work and sometimes are not involved in every detail of their child's life. This is especially so if there are many children in the home. Dad could come home after the children are asleep and leave before they awake and therefore cannot witness firsthand what is happening to the child.
"Dads may not understand or get involved because they do not want to make a bigger deal of things than needed," Gold says. "They figure that the child will outgrow this situation in time. They want to respect the child and perhaps believe that saying nothing will respect the child's privacy and show that Dad is not bothered by the nighttime enuresis. However, by not asking questions they prevent themselves from understanding what is really going on."
Another possibility is that some fathers may not believe the situation is under "daddy" jurisdiction. They may believe bedwetting is Mom's job and she has control over how to deal with it.
"If the child believes Dad is embarrassed or disappointed this could cause a great deal of unnecessary shame and stress for the child," Gold says. "The child is already feeling disappointed and embarrassed in themselves and it can be an overwhelming burden to carry around the additional views of the parent. Anyway that the father feels conflicted can negatively impact the child if [the situation is] not handled clearly an positively. The child needs constant positive reinforcing that the situation will get better."
