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Home › Articles › Bedwetting › When Daddy Doesn't Understand

When Daddy Doesn't Understand

Supporting a Bedwetting Child Is a Job for Mom and Dad

By Teri Brown

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Gold believes it is important that the child feels Dad is his partner in this and is helping him to get better so that he does not feel so alone and out of control. Speaking clearly, directly, calmly and positively about the subject will also help the child feel less like a baby. If the father is conflicted or unclear, the child is left to translate those feelings on his own.

"If possible, Dad should suppress his conflicted emotions in front of his child and present a calm and confident front for the child," Gold says. "This shows the child that the parents believe in them and are confident that everything will resolve itself."

Dr. Diane Troung, a board certified pediatrician with Boulevard Pediatrics in Endocino, Calif., and co-founder of MDMoms, agrees. "Both parents should be patient, understanding and supportive through this process," Dr. Troung says. "On those wet mornings, perhaps Mom can help the child change out of his clothes and Dad can help the child with changing out the bed linens. Don't assign blame or shame to the child. As with most developmental issues, having a united, empathic front from both parents will help tremendously in seeing that this phase will, too, pass."

Mothers aren't the only one with great influence over their children. Fathers can have a huge impact on their psychological well-being. Having a father who is supportive and understanding about his child's nighttime enuresis will go a long way in helping the child overcome her problem.

Getting Dad on Board

Tammy Gold gives the following hints to help moms increase their husband's understanding of nighttime enuresis:

  • Mom needs to clearly and quickly communicate and educate Dad on the situation by explaining the emotional and physical issues at play. First, Mom has to explain that the child has been checked physically to make sure there are no problems with the bladder, hormones, diabetes, allergies, etc. Mom could also educate Dad on simple physical reasons that could be causing nighttime enuresis.
  • Mom should check in with Dad about what he feels about the situation in a private conversation. This will allow Dad to get out his feelings on the topic. Bedwetting can be hard on a family due to the lack of sleep and it helps to have the parents support each other through this by leaning on each other and being open, direct and honest.
  • Relax about the situation. Making a big deal about it will only make it worse. It is not related to psychological issues and it is not something that the child can control.
  • Talk to the child. Ask him how he is feeling about what is going on. What are some ways Mom and Dad can make the nights easier for the child?


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