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5 Phrases to Make Your Child Feel Better About Bedwetting
Statements That Have a Positive Impact on Your Child
By Donna Smith
Huebner agrees. "Kids do need to hear this, but not in relation to staying dry, which is outside of their conscious control," she says. "Parents can and should be proud of kids for their accomplishments (making the soccer team, doing something without being asked), but saying 'I'm proud of you' for staying dry is a little like saying 'I'm proud of you' for growing into a size 6 shoe (it isn't very meaningful). It is helpful to express pride in your child's cooperation with a bedtime plan (i.e., remembering to go to the bathroom before getting into bed or getting out of bed to pee if the child wakes up in the night), so these ways of taking responsibility/using strategies can be praised, rather than the fact of dryness itself."
Most people feel comforted when they know someone is on their side, and this is especially important for children who wet the bed. "When children know that they have the support of other people it does not make the problem seem so overwhelming," Freymiller-Hazen says.
"How powerful!" says Zindler of the phrase. "I refer to this as level III listening. It is a form of collaborative parenting that tells the child they are not alone and that their greatest hero has come to their rescue. Now that's more powerful then Superman any day!"
Huebner, however, would modify the statement a bit to something more along the lines of "I'm on your side." "Kids need to know that their parents aren't blaming them or keeping score or punishing them about wetting," she says. "Instead, kids and parents are on the same team, creating both daytime (bladder retention training) and nighttime (limiting beverages, voiding before bed, wearing a PULL-UP®, using a bed pad, etc.) plans that move kids in the direction of nighttime dryness while recognizing that kids can't stay dry by willpower/effort alone (their bodies need to be ready, too!)."
