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Home › Articles › Bedwetting › 5 Phrases to Make Your Child Feel Better About Bedwetting

5 Phrases to Make Your Child Feel Better About Bedwetting

Statements That Have a Positive Impact on Your Child

By Donna Smith

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5. I love you.

Kids feel not only embarrassed, but also as if they are letting their parents down, especially if parents make a big deal about monitoring wet/dry nights or express frustration about needing to change the bedding. "Making clear that you know your child isn't doing this on purpose and staying both calm and low-key are essential," Huebner says. "Saying 'I love you' underlines for kids that they aren't defined by their bedwetting, anymore than they are defined by how straight their teeth are growing in or how good they are at math. Saying 'I love you' helps kids to feel cherished and safe."

Zindler says this phrase is most important in regards to bedwetting when something disruptive has occurred. "It lets the child know that no matter what may have happened they have not diminished the love their parents have for them," she says. "Another level III response indeed!"

Understanding how we can be angry and still love someone is very difficult for a child, Dr. Phillips says. "When something bad happens, he immediately assumes we as adults are going to stop caring about him because he is having trouble and may be causing us trouble," she says. "The reassurance that we do love them, no matter what, can instill confidence in a child, no matter what challenge he is facing."

Beating bedwetting is not a one-time problem with an easy fix. "Ongoing reassurance and building a trusting relationship with our children is crucial to bringing the bedwetting to an eventual end," Dr. Phillips says. "The more anxiety a child faces about his bedwetting and the more isolated he feels, the more likely he is to continue wetting the bed or hiding his concerns, fear and shame."

More Bedwetting Tips
  • "Be patient!" says Tonya Freymiller-Hazen. "This particular issue can be very frustrating because it is usually due to things out of a child's control. A parent may feel distraught over not being able to 'fix' the problem for their child. However, a parent modeling patience for their child will help them learn a valuable lesson in life."
  • "Get waterproof pads you can put across your child's mattress at night," says mom Amy Scranton. "They are kind of like mattress pads only not as big. We have two and if our son wets on one, he changes his pjs and we put a fresh pad on his bed. We don't have to change sheets in the middle of the night and the pads make far less laundry than do a whole set of sheets!"
  • "If your child shows you signs of emotional disruption in any form, respond with vigilance," says Adelaide Zindler. "They are usually trying to say that something is wrong and needs to be corrected so they can thrive. Look for these important warning signs and use your power of investigation to uncover the cause. Then watch how fast your little one will bounce back."
  • "Share your frustration with a trusted friend or spouse, but do not take it out on your child," says Dr. Gretchen Phillips. "Many parents are dealing with this, and we can often help each other. Also, please talk to your family physician or pediatrician. We have a lot of resources and we're here to help."
  • "Focus on your child's cooperation with whatever strategies you are using (voiding at night, wearing a PULL-UP, taking medicine) rather than on the number of nights wet/dry," says Dr. Dawn Huebner. "Accept the reality of wetting (for now) and do what you need to do to keep your child comfortable through the night (i.e., PULL-UPS) and to make cleanup easy (PULL-UPS, bed pads)."
  • "Get informed," says Judsen Culbreth. "Parents need to be informed themselves about bedwetting in order to better help their child overcome the problem. Talk to your doctor or get informed online. Great tools are available now that help children get through this little speed bump until they outgrow the problem. GOODNITES® has new Sleep Boxers for Boys and Sleep Shorts for Girls. This is a product that kids asked for and is a helpful tool in managing bedwetting. They look and feel like any other shorts a child might wear to bed, making kids feel more comfortable and confident when they have them on. Parents can visit GoodNites.com for new bedwetting resources, including facts, advice and tips."


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