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A Place for Me
Environmental Changes to Ease Sibling Rivalry in Toddlers and Preschoolers
By Kelly Burgess
(The Crossroad Publishing Company, Inc., 2005), agrees with Sindoni's approach. She's also not a fan of the toy box, preferring smaller containers with smaller activities geared toward creativity.
"Organization is very calming to children, but beyond that it's important to set up the environment to give the child the greatest sense of autonomy possible," Dr. Dayton says. "Part of the reason for rivalry is a competition for the parent's attention, so if the children feel that they're both getting that attention, this may help cut down on that competition."
Dr. Dayton suggests setting up the home environment so the children have an activity that they can do in any room right alongside the parent. For example, in the kitchen, a small table and chairs and play knives with play clay so the children can "cook" while the mother is "cooking." They both feel engaged with Mom, and thus not in competition for her attention, and are also absorbed in creative play.
Along those lines, Dr. Dayton suggests that a child's environment should include the following:
- Low shelves the child can reach.
- Baskets with age-appropriate activities, labeled for each child.
- Baskets with like items together, such as crayons in one basket next to a basket of paper.
Dr. Jenn Berman, mother of 14-month-old twin girls and the author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids (New World Library, 2007), is one expert who knows there's no way to eliminate sibling rivalry, but she also doesn't think you should want t.
