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Hello? Anyone Home?
The Modern Man's Hunt for the Cordless Phone Receiver
By Tim Hererra
It happens in my house maybe 50 times a day. That's how many times it seems that the phone rings.
"The phone is ringing! Where's the phone?" I yell.
"I don't know," one of the boys yells without even looking away from the GameCube action on TV. "You had it last," he says, as he points to his little sister.
"I had it, then I gave it to you," she accuses another older brother.
The phone rings the second time. The cordless receiver is MIA – again.
"You had it in your room, didn't you?" I ask the middle son.
Then comes the third ring. Still no phone.
"I put it back, and then he took it." He points to his younger brother, like a dramatic witness identifying a defendant during a trial.
Finally, the fourth ring triggers the answering machine. "Hi, you've reached the Herreras."
Callers always reach our house, but don't always reach the actual people in the house. We're always scrambling to find the phone. It is never where it's supposed to be when not in use – IN THE BASE RECHARGING. Instead, the phone is between couch cushions, on the floor, inside shoes or in one of the kids' bedrooms.
With the age of cordless phones comes the age of misplaced receivers.
My wife and I thought we solved the phone problem a few months ago when we bought this high-tech gizmo at Costco. This not-so-cheap model came with one base and THREE PHONES. That was the solution. Three phones! Not two, but three! Our problems would be solved. We got home, and I immediately installed the base in the kitchen, put one phone in the master bedroom and the third in the garage. Putting an extension in the garage was a stroke of genius, I figured. The boys are always in there lifting weights, playing ping-pong or hiding from chores.
