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The Respectful Child

An Excerpt

By Elizabeth Pantley

as "to show honor or esteem for. To treat with deference and regard." Implied in this definition is the fact that respect must be earned, and is given from the heart. Often I encounter parents who complain about their child's lack of respect for them, only to hear them turn around and screech at the same child, "Stop it! What is the matter with you? You're behaving like a wild animal!" Since children learn what they live, I have witnessed the reason this child shows the parent no respect. So, how can we raise respectful children?

"Do as I say, not as I do" sounds like a fun idea, but as a parenting tool it rarely (if ever) works. You are your child's first and most important teacher. Just as children learn to talk by listening to us talk, they learn how to treat others by following our lead. Watch how you treat not only your kids, but other people you come in contact with during your day. What are you teaching your kids? Teach more than just manners.

"Thank you, Mrs. Pantley" can be said as a polite compliment, or can be said with sarcasm and attitude fit for a back alley. When we teach our children manners we must also discuss the not-so-obvious details, such as looking someone in the eye, using a polite tone of voice, and using real words (such as "yes" instead of "uh huh!") These are not things our kids are born knowing. We need to teach these important facets of good manners.