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A Place for Me
Environmental Changes to Ease Sibling Rivalry in Toddlers and Preschoolers
By Kelly Burgess
For any family with more than one child, sibling rivalry will be a fact of life. It can't be eliminated, and, according to most experts, a little sibling rivalry isn't a bad thing.
However, if it's becoming a constant problem and behavioral steps to address it haven't worked, perhaps it's time to look at your toddler or preschooler's environment and think about making changes in your home that may ease some of the pressure.
As the single father of two boys just a year apart, Joe Sindoni of Philadelphia, Pa., hated toy boxes.
"The first thing a kid will do when they go to the toy box is dump it out," Sindoni says. "Then, not only is there a bunch of clutter, but they begin to feel overwhelmed very quickly and they lose interest in everything they just dumped on the floor. So they start hitting their brother."
While that may be a slightly exaggerated scenario, it certainly does happen and Sindoni, a stand-up comic and author of 50 Reasons Not to Have Kids: And What to Do If You Have Them Anyway (Infinity Publishing, 2007), found an ingenious solution: the day box. He got two sets of eight plastic boxes in different colors, one for each day of the week (one was for every day). He divided up his son's toys, especially all the "little, cluttery things" and the boys were only allowed to play with that day's box – and only with theirs.
"It was great for a couple of reasons," Sindoni says. "It gave them a sense of anticipation each day instead of just having all these toys just there all the time, and it cut down on the clutter and everything was pre-divided."
Dr. Tian Dayton, author of Modern Mothering: How to Teach Kids to Say What They Feel and Feel What They Say