10 Ways to Help Kids to Really Say No and Buck Peer Pressure
By Michele Borba
Share your beliefs. Parents who raise assertive kids who can stand up for their beliefs don't do so by accident. They make sure their children know what they stand for. "In our family we don't watch violent movies. Plain and simple. So tell your friends you can't go." "I don't care if all your friends use four-letter words; for you that's forbidden." "The next time a friend dares you to smoke a cigarette, just stand up and walk out. You need to stick up for what you know is right. I know how much you hate smoking." 
Stop rescuing. If your role has been apologizing, explaining or basically "doing" for your child, then stop. Your child will never learn how to stand up for himself. Instead, he'll forever by relying on you. Model assertiveness. If you want your child to be confident, assertive and stand up for his beliefs, make sure you display those behaviors. Kids mimic what they see. Teach how to say no. Ask your child to choose phrases he is most comfortable using. "No" can be said alone: "NO!" It can also be followed by a reason: "No. It's just not my style." "No thanks. My parents would kill me." "No, I don't feel like doing that." "No, I don't want to." "No. I have to get home and I'm already late." The child could suggest an alternative: "No. Let's think of something else." "Nope. How 'bout we go to the skate par instead?" Tell your child it's not his job to change your friend's mind, but to stay true to his beliefs. Want to see more?
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