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Home › Articles › Back to School Headquarters › 10 Ways to Help Kids to Really Say No and Buck Peer Pressure

10 Ways to Help Kids to Really Say No and Buck Peer Pressure

An Excerpt from Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me: The Top 25 Friendship Problems and How to Solve Them

By Michele Borba

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Topics can be the hot button issues in the world, in school or right in your home. Here are just a few discussion possibilities: house rules, sibling conflicts, allowances, chores, curfews, parent-set movie restrictions. "Real world" issues could include reparations, the Iraq War, the draft, lowering the voting age, legalizing drugs. Whatever the topic, encourage your hesitant child to speak up and be heard.

  • Don't tolerate excuses. You've been working on these skills, but your child is still agreeing to do things she knows are wrong to go along with the group, such as sneaking into an R-rated movie or using bad words. If this happens, be sure to take clear action to reestablish your rules and your child's need to stand up to peer pressure.

    • It's not always easy to buck the crowd. Everyone wants to be liked. But for your child's own self-confidence, independence and future success in life, it's important he learn to stand up to a friend. So continue to encourage each and every effort he makes, and help him practice the skills of assertiveness until he can confidently use them alone. And above all, remember, simple changes can reap big results. So don't give up.


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