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Supply and Demand
School Supplies Demand a Second Mortgage!
By Linda Sharp
ring useless any clothing she wore before the onset of 90-degree temps. Now she is old enough to have an opinion about what she wears! "But Mooooo-ooooom, everybody is going to have bell bottoms but meeeeeeeeeeee." "Mooooo-oooooom, I really neeeeeeeed a vinyl mini-skirt." "Come on Mooooo-ooooom, high heeled tennis shoes are so coooooooool." As only a mother can, I stick to my guns. Let everybody else look stupid in those pants, no one neeeeeeeeeeeds a skirt made of Tupperware, and falling off one's tennis shoes in gym class certainly is not coooooool. As for my other school age daughters, they rule as Queens of the Land of Hand Me Downs. There is something to be said for having only one gender of children!
Once the clothing crisis has been handled, we turn our attention to the required school supplies. And I do mean required. Each school distributes lists of what each child must bring with them on the first day of school. My leg is not as long as these lists. Come to think of it, my entire colon, which is spasming at the thought of this shopping trip, is not as long as these lists. Our cart is quickly filled with markers – fat and thin – glue sticks and bottles, paint sets, rulers, paper, folders – three-pronged only and in the required rainbow of colors – tissue, water bottles (what happened to the fountains?), erasers, backpacks and pencils – number 2 only.
I must pause here to take issue with this whole number 2 pencil thing. Since the day I entered school, I have heard those words every time "pencil" is uttered. Every dot test I ever filled in was preceded with the ominous warning to "Use only a Number 2 pencil." For the SATs, we were cautioned to bring several, as if our college bound lives depended upon the magic number 2. Tell me: Has anyone ever actually seen a number 1 or number 13 pencil? You cannot buy anything BUT number 2 pencils! Yes, I suppose the local art store carries a variety of lead for sketching, but we aren't shopping at Le Chateau de Art Frou Frou for our school supplies! Pardon me while I find a paper bag to breathe into.
We depart the local Wal-Mart carrying five bags of supplies. If wars were fought with Elmer's Glue and loose leaf paper – wide rule only – surely we would be considered armed and dangerous. The bags are heavy, but balanced out by the fact that the bag I carried in, my purse, is substantially lighter. My eyes glaze over in the parking lot as I look at the total on the receipt: $90. Ninety dollars for school supplies. As soon as I can pull my head out of this paper bag, I am writing a letter to the superintendent to demand a recount! (With my number 2 pencil, of course.)