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Nighttime as Quality Time
The Benefits of a Stress-free Routine on Your Bedwetting Child
By Teri Brown
Dr. Dawn Huebner, a clinical psychologist and author of What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (Magination Press, 2005), agrees that bedtime should be about family bonding, not bedwetting.
"Too often, families have so much going on that bedtime becomes a frantic time of finishing dinner, finishing homework, throwing together lunches for the next day, squeezing in baths, trying to share the news (for the first time) from that day," Dr. Huebner says. "It is better for kids to have a half-hour or so before bedtime to connect with their parents in a positive way – to talk and play and be together. Having things happen at a sane pace at home, and having time for kids and parents to actually interact with one another, is more important than playing a sport every season or keeping up on all the greatest TV shows."
Dr. Huebner recommends that all electronics be turned off in the hour before bedtime, leaving time for a 30-minute nighttime activity that is interesting and fun without being over-stimulating – a nighttime walk, a family game, a puzzle, the telling of family stories, etc. Then, Dr. Huebner advises a three-part bedtime routine that she calls "shift, snug and snooze."
"Shift time" is the five or 10 minutes that provide the transition to bed – a light snack, a goodnight to all the pets, washing up, etc. Then kids climb into bed for "snug time," which can be 10 to 15 minutes of reading or talking with Mom or Dad. "Snooze time" is the last part of the bedtime routine – maybe a brief backrub or a favorite song, or a special way of saying I love you – the final two or three minutes that signals kids to close their eyes, snuggle down and fall asleep.