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Strategies to Maintain Bedwetters' Self-Esteem

Four Helpful Tips for Parents

By Lyn Mettler

"Scolding the children or making them feel inadequate does nothing to make the problem better and actually can worsen the self-esteem issues these kids are already dealing with," says Dr. Ferrell.

Dr. Nagaraju also points out that such punishment can lead to even more problems with incontinence. "They end up with dysfunctional voiding," he says, which often turns wetting into a daytime problem as well.

When a child wets the bed and has a sibling that does not, teasing often happens. It can be especially troublesome when the non-bedwetting sibling is younger and has already developed nighttime control.

*Alyson, the mother of 8-year-old Ryan who struggles enuresis, found that it has been a bit of an issue between her son and younger daughter. Her daughter often reports when Ryan has wet the bed, but, says Alyson, more in a helpful, not mean, way and never in front of anyone outside the family. "He does get mad at her," though, she says.

The American Academy of Pediatrics' (AAP) guidelines on bedwetting suggest that parents set a "no teasing" rule in their family. "Do not let family members, especially siblings, tease a child who wets the bed. Explain to them that their brother or sister does not wet the bed on purpose," says the AAP. It also may help to explain if it's genetic that Mom or Dad also wet the bed when they were young.

While you are working through bedwetting, it may be helpful to use disposable absorbent underpants. When children wake up feeling dry, there is less embarrassment or feelings of shame.

"The more I make a big deal out of it, the more it becomes a big issue for him," says Alyson. Instead, they have explained to him that it is not his fault and that, intheir case, it is genetic – Alyson's husband, his brothers and their nephews have all had problems wetting the bed.

Want to see more?

• Daytime Wetting – Helping Your Child Stay Dry
• Good Mornings: Bedwetting and Your Child
• Wet, but Dry
• The Effects of Divorce on Children – A Potential Cause for Bedwetting
• Oh Brother, I Wet the Bed
• Childhood Baby Blues: The Effects of a New Baby on Bedwetting
• Summer Camp or Bust: Your Bedwetting Child Can Do It!