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Home › Articles › Discipline › Time-out, Time-in

Time-out, Time-in

What Should You Do When a Child Misbehaves?

By Patricia Morgan, Counselor

Pages:  1  2  

For many children time-outs have become either an experience of being rejected to their bedroom when the going gets tough or freedom to play in their Disney World-like paradise. The first bedroom scenario can create a hated room where children have trouble sleeping at night while the second scenario provides a "so what?" attitude of escape from relationship and responsibility.

Time-in
Otto Weininger, professor emeritus in the Early Childhood Education Department at OISE, Ontario, Canada, describes time-in. His belief is that when children are not managing themselves well they need more attention. He encourages parents to say something like, "I see what you are doing and saying. It seems like you need more help. I am here for you. Let me know when you can manage on your own."

A time-in may involve taking children out of challenging situations such as fighting with playmates or siblings. Once separated from the scene parents can discuss the unacceptable behavior and encourage children to choose appropriate conduct. Some parents may worry that children will misbehave to seek attention and time-in sounds like giving in to that demand. Seldom do children misbehave to receive attention where parents hold them accountable for their behaviors and require them to choose responsible alternatives.

Whether it's a time-out or a time-in, ask yourself what you want to accomplish and what you want your child to learn. In the between times get some time-out and time-in for yourself.

Patricia Morgan is a counselor and speaker who helps parents and others lighten their load and brighten their outlook. She is the author of Love Her as She Is: Lessons from a Daughter Stolen by Addictions (Detselig Enterprises, 2000).


Pages:  1  2  

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