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Don't Divorce Your Children: Children and Their Parents Talk About Divorce
An excerpt from the book
By Jennifer Lewis, M.D. and William Sammons, M.D.
All that because I wanted to call home! Sometimes I really don't think either of them cares what I want. They're too busy making sure they get what they want. I hate all this! I hate when Mom and Dad shout at each other over me. And most of all I hate myself when it's all my fault."
When we got back to my apartment we played cards until I started to prepare dinner. Sarah looked a little bored but I couldn't play and make dinner at the same time, so I asked her to set the table. Then it all started.
"What are we having to eat?" she asked in that negative tone of voice I hate.
"Spaghetti and meatballs, your favorite," I replied, trying to stay cool.
"It's not any more," I heard her mutter under her breath.
Not wanting to start an argument I ignored her, but could see we were heading in the wrong direction. After another prompt to please set the table, she glared at me and said, "I want to call Mom."
Those dreaded words! How my heart sinks when she says that. I know she' only a kid, and of course she loves her Mom, but couldn't we have one whole day in which Kathy, or the "ghost" of Kathy, didn't invade our time together? I suppose a perfect parent would have said, "Yes of course darling, I know you miss your Mommy very much. I'll put all the just-ready-to-eat dinner in the oven and you may talk with Mommy just as long as you like." Instead I told her the truth. I didn't think it was a good time and it wasn't really necessary. That did not have the desired effect. Tears started to flow, and I handed her the phone.