Understand that you are a role model. How do you and your spouse behave toward one another? Remember that children often "do as we do," and parents who do not treat one another with love and respect should expect their children to model that behavior between each other.
Treat your children fairly. For example, Elias suggests that when an argument does break out as it most certainly will from time to time punish both children. Why is this important? One child might have instigated the fight, but the other child participated in it. Teach your children to back off when a sibling loses his cool.
When arguments happen, don't believe one child's account over the other. Elias says taking sides in arguments can cause resentment between children and lead to negative and harmful behavior.
Don't compare your children with one another. Instead, Elias says, concentrate on the strengths of each individual child. "Avoid using evaluative terms, such as great, excellent, best, to describe the child; it is better to be descriptive," Elias says. "'Johnny, that drawing uses so many wonderful colors. And look at all those interesting designs! And let's see, Julie, you made a sculpture. That piece must have been very hard to work with! What did youuse do get this to have such a smooth texture? Do you have a name for this?'"
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