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The Bond of Siblings

A Special Relationship that Lasts a Lifetime

By Tara Swords

While these tips can help to make your household a more civil place, they won't necessarily create a haven of love and friendship between siblings. In fact, Elias says that in his research, too many children don't have a feeling for what's special about their families and don't feel any close ties to family members.

"Many parents are far too stressed and family life is too hectic and broken up with one parent driving a sibling or two here and the other driving a sibling or two there, and we all come together finally on occasion and people are exhausted and testy and ready to bolt for the next event."

Elias encourages families to create mottoes or mission statements. This focus will give a sense of purpose and reduce the stress level in the home, making it "an oasis, not a sandstorm." In this relaxed environment, siblings are more able to appreciate one another.

And eventually, your children will realize that they actually like each other. That feeling may transform into the realization that as siblings, they are linked for eternity by some intangible bond. Although this can appear at around age 11, a more spiritual bond usually doesn't appear until adolescence or early adulthood.

Debbie says she believes her youngest three will remain good friends as they grow up. They are close enough in age to have a lot in common, but separated enough by grade level that they won't be competing with one another. As for her oldest two girls, she feels jealousy about adolescent issues such as friends and boyfriends will fade as the girls grow into adulthood.

"I think they still have that closeness [they had when they were younger]," she says. "Females just tend to be more jealous, but they still always confide in each other."