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The Role of Responsibility
How Much Is Too Much? By Gail Pirics
Be careful to meter out responsibility while letting your children experience being children. "Parents need to look at whether the children are feeling burdened [by the responsibility], because it's really too much or they haven't been taught to take responsibility before," Bongiorno says. "Kids can feel dumped on and used as a workhorse, so you have to show the benefit of doing [the chores], or they will resent it and do the work badly."
Allowing extracurricular activities where possible and providing an allowance for pitching in can quell frustration and show your appreciation.
Establish Rules
Regardless of their age, children need limits and guidelines to make them feel safe and keep them out of trouble. Ask yourself: Are there bad influences in my neighborhood? What is our family's security plan? Do other people – good or bad – know my children will be home alone every day? Are these people I trust or people who might take advantage of my child? Couple those questions with clear house rules on who is and is not allowed in the house when you're not there. "If the neighborhood has lots of kids home alone and they all congregate at one house, trouble can result," Bongiorno says. "You must have rules about friends in the house and friends in the yard and the use of the Internet, video games, TV and music."
The Florians keep their rules simple. "Our house rules are no kids in the house or yard," Susan Florian says. "And they have to call my cell phone the minute they get home."
Recognize Differences