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What a Kid Wants, What a Kid Needs

Making More Time for Family

By Kelly Burgess

However, cautions Taylor, you have to learn to say both "yes" and "no" and to find substitutes for what you don't want your kids to do. In other words, if you say "no" to commercial TV, say yes to going outside and playing or riding bikes. If you say "no" to the mall, say yes to making a birdhouse together. Create conditions to go outside or play with friends or make a mess. There have to be alternative activities that are fun and worthwhile, or they might as well plop down in front of the television.

Taylor suggests such activities as stargazing, organizing a co-ed neighborhood softball team or having a cookout. Her book and the New American Dream Web site have literally hundreds of little suggestions from the mundane to a weekend camping trip. And don't take no for an answer from your child, either.

"If [you have] childhood memories that were special for you and something was really fun for you, it will probably be fun for them as well," says Taylor. "They may not be used to that type of simple activity because they've been habitually plugged in, but chances are that they'll have a great time, and it will be a very rewarding experience.

Taylor also says that sometimes you have to say "yes" to the mall. "Don't cut them or yourself off completely from the commercial world, because it's not realistic," says Taylor. "It's all about making sure you have balance and that you continue to be the main force in your children's lives – not advertisers."