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Not "Just Another Trip"
The Truth About Parenting
By Sandra Tarling
My best friend and hitchhiking partner from years ago said that having children was "just another trip." I had hitchhiked with my friend through Europe at age 18, lived on my own since I was 19 and managed a university department of more than 30 people by the time my husband and I decided to have children. I felt confident that I was ready and able to embark upon the "parenting trip."
When we brought our red, squalling miracle of a daughter home, the initial euphoria waned and shock set in. A touch of postpartum depression could be blamed only partially. In a perpetual daze due to exhaustion, my days alternated between elation that I actually started and completed planting the iris bulbs, and exhaustion and depression because my daughter had cried all day, never slept longer than 25 minutes at a time, and consequently, I was still not showered and in my bathrobe. Before embarking upon this "trip," I could never have imagined the emotional landscape of peaks and valleys I would traverse.
Those days seemed to be made up of a succession of tiny moments, and the emotional heights I experienced with my daughter always seemed to be during the quietest ones. Reading my book, then staring at her perfectly formed face as she took her nap nestled in my arm. Smelling her sweet baby smell after her bath. Hearing her sigh of contentment as I rocked her to sleep at night. Feeling those tiny, miracle fingers wrapped around my finger as I nursed her. And of course, witnessing that first smile and hearing the cooing and babbling, and then the first true laugh as I made silly faces.
I expected the same emotional ups and downs when our son arrived nearly three years later. But since this was the second time around, I assured myself that the occasional exhausting and overly-demanding days would be just that: occasional. And knowing this would be our last child, I also reminded myself to take the time to savor those especially sweet moments. This proved easy to do since our son cried less often and was generally more content. He smiled readily at us and his sister's antics and loved to be tickled, especially on his neck and behind his ears. I spent even more nap times lying on my bed with him nestled in my arm, relishing that sweet newborn smell.