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Home › Articles › Fiction/Opinion/Essays/Humor › Parents Say the Darndest Things

Parents Say the Darndest Things

Funny Phrases Moms and Dads Say to Their Preschoolers

By Lisamarie Sanders

Pages:  1  2  

Have you ever stopped to listen to yourself when talking to your young children? It's amazing the words that get put together to make meaningful sentences. Meaningful, that is, to a child. These statements were actually uttered by parents to their offspring. How many have you said?

Affection:

  • I know it hurts, but I will not kiss your butt.

  • Of course it stung you; wasps don't like to be petted.

  • Please stop kissing the worms.

  • I know you love all of the rocks, but we can only take one into the store today.

  • Even if someone hugs it out of you, you should say, "Excuse me" after passing gas.

Appreciation of Others:

  • No honey, her face is not melting. Those are called wrinkles.

  • Yes, that is a nice drawing on her shoulder.

  • Sometimes your breath stinks, too.

  • People can see even if they have blue eyes.

  • No, he doesn't have a baby in his tummy.

Cleanliness:

  • That's not snow, honey; it's dust.

  • I see; the wet chalk does make colorful body paint.

  • The car is not a garbage can.

  • Please keep your dirt collection outside.

Family:

  • Don't hit your brother when he is sleeping.

  • Please get your feet off of your grandmother's head.

  • You can't marry Daddy; I got him first.

  • Take that funnel out of your sister's ear.

  • Put Grandpa's teeth back where you found them.

Fashion: