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Home › Articles › Holiday: Winter › Holidays Traditions After Divorce

Holidays Traditions After Divorce

Single Moms and the Holidays

By Teri Brown

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(Book Peddlers, 2003). "One, realize that you are probably going to be alone for part of the holidays. Two, you will probably have less money than you would normally have. Three, you are going to have to compromise your normal family traditions."

Out With the Old
In fact, according to Lansky, it may be better not to try to follow all your old family traditions. "Often, doing the same thing you've always done just accentuates the loss for both you and your children," says Lansky. "Do enough familiar things that not everything is different, but realize it is time to start some new family traditions, too."

Trying New Traditions-Single Moms and the Holidays New traditions can include going on a trip for the holidays, serving dinner at a local shelter or going to a holiday movie. "New traditions don't have to be expensive, just use your creative energy to come up with something novel," says Lansky.

Dr. Shirley Thomas, a child and family psychologist and author of Parents Are Forever: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Co-Parents After Divorce (Springboard, 1996), believes that for children under 5, getting together for short periods of time to have dinner or do something as a family is very helpful in getting through that first difficult year. It is a precious gift you can give your child. However, she cautions, this may not be a good idea for older children.

"Older boys and girls may actually feel worse with artificial family reunions set up just because it is Thanksgiving or Christmas day," says Dr. Thomas. "And you may feel worse as the parent – guilty about not being able to keep your family together for these special days. And certainly by the time you have been apart a while – after the second year – you should always plan separate celebrations to strengthen your new identity as individual family units."


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