- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preschoolers today articles
- preschoolers today q&a
- children today articles
- children today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
That Old Holiday Spirit
Help Your Preteen Make the Most of the Season
By Tara Swords
By the middle of the holiday season – which seems to begin earlier every year – your child has been bombarded with countless TV commercials designed to implant in his mind the idea that he must have Gap jeans, Nike shoes and at least six new games for his Playstation, Gamecube, Xbox or Wii. Like it or not, the holidays in the western world are becoming as much an industry as an occasion to celebrate the meanings behind them. And as the keeper of the purse strings, the pressure to buy, buy, buy lands squarely on the shoulders of parents.
For those who have the means to do all that purchasing, it's hard to resist. Deep down, many parents are driven by the same mantra, that unspoken code that often has parents giving into their children's mistaken whines of need: I want my child to have the things my parents couldn't give to me. But really, when a child is quick to point out that "everybody else" has this or that item, we know it's not true. "You're not 'everybody else,'" we're quick to shoot back. But it's difficult to resist the urge to shower children with material items when we have the means to.
Admirable. Honorable. And completely natural. But when these "things" are always tangible items, it might be a good idea to re-examine just what we are giving our children -- and of what we are depriving them.
Material possessions do not provide happiness. We've heard that saying so many times that many of us almost believe it. When we already have emotional happiness, material possessions are merely icing on the cake. Most of us have learned this lesson many times over – perhaps the hard way. And so when the opportunity arises to equip our children with love and generosity – the real stuff of happiness – why do we instead show them that we will wait six hours in the predawn cold and dark, getting psyched up for the ultimate obstacle course to the latest shipment of this year's "it" item when the front doors of WalMart open? This is probably not the best way to demonstrate to kids the idea that we'd do anything for them.