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Home › Articles › Kid Connections › The Kindergarten Blues

The Kindergarten Blues

Moms Cope With First-Day-of-School Sadness

By Teri Brown

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Steven A. Richfield, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and author of The Parent Coaching Cards (Parent Coaching, 1998), believes that mixed emotions are perfectly normal for parents of kindergarteners. "Kindergarten represents a developmental step for children and their parents," says Richfield. "Kids enter a new world of formal learning where teachers occupy the roles of authority, while parents must contend with many realities that can tug at their hearts."

Richfield believes that the No. 1 reality for parents is the obvious loosening of parental control that comes with sending one's child to school. Kindergarten ushers in teachers who will be influencing how our kids feel and who they become. Another factor is that strong feelings about separation, trust, attachment or independence may rear their heads as we let loose of our babies. If a parent experienced any traumas or particularly difficult times during their own schooling, these memories affect feelings about sending children to school.

"Whether you choose to talk with your spouse, a good friend or just give yourself some quiet time to reflect upon what this means to you, it is important that you give yourself the opportunity to acknowledge your feelings," says Richfield. "Exploring interests that may have been put aside during the earlier years of infancy and toddlerhood can be helpful."

Involve Yourself
Another way to deal with separation anxiety in both your child and yourself is by taking an active part in your child's classroom. "When parents become involved in their child's classroom they become linked to their child in another context," says Richfield. "This helps ease the separation pangs and provides a new feeling of attachment to the child's learning environment. It is much easier to start discussions with the child about their classmates, teacher or learning objectives when the parent has witnessed the lesson firsthand or met the kids in the classroom."

Being involved in your child's education and classroom is the lifework of Erika V. Shearin Karres, Ed.D. Karres, a professor of education at the University of South Carolina and author of A+ Teachers: Empower Your Child's Teacher, and Your Child, to Excellence

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