- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preschoolers today articles
- preschoolers today q&a
- children today articles
- children today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
If You Build It, They Will Come
Starting Your Own Moms' Group By Kate Riener Boyd
You've never been one to join clubs, not even the Girl Scouts. Or maybe the idea of walking into a group of people who already know each other scares you senseless. It could be that you want to join one, but there is not one in existence where you live.
No matter the reason, many of us can't join an already-established "moms' group." But the benefits of gathering with other mothers to share ideas or simply to chat can be profound. Starting your own moms' group will probably take some time, but there's no reason that it can't be everything you want it to be. I started one 10 months ago, and while it grows and evolves constantly, we all look forward to the next time we'll get together. You could have one up and running too before you know it.
I started with an online invitation to a wine-and-cheese party at my home and included everyone I know who has a child. Some of these women were merely friends of friends, and I wasn't sure how people would respond. One woman failed to acknowledge the invitation, but everyone else was enthusiastic and affirmative. I had seven solid acceptances, including myself. Not a bad start.
Since that day we have grown to 10 members and have switched from Sunday afternoons to Thursday nights. We have met at almost everyone's house, almost every month. At some point in each gathering, we talk about the next time and someone offers to host. We bat around ideas for dates, but know that the decision will actually be made in e-mails in the weeks to come. Generally, the host throws out a few dates, and everyone replies with availability. It's up the to host to figure out which date works for the most people: If we can't get more than half, then we won't meet.
Once a date has been decided, the host begins food ideas, and people reply with what they'd like to bring. Ours is a food-loving group, and we tend toward creating a seasonal feast: chips and salsa for June, squash soup for October, a cookie exchange for December. We have ideas about social outings, from a theater trip to a movie night; our next meeting will be at an Indian restaurant.
All our rules and regulations are negotiable. Nothing has been dictated or written in stone; we come to decisions as a group and organically. People miss meetings and new members are invited whenever the mood strikes. All are welcome and discussions are varied and fluid we have a reputation of getting off-topic very fast. We laugh a lot and tell silly stories. We share family trouble and ask advice from those who are farther ahead. Some of us socialize outside the group, while some we only see once a month. And all of it is OK.
I've discovered a lot in starting this group, and the friendships that have started or been strengthened by it are vitally important to my life. If you too want the camaraderie and support of a moms' group, but don't know where to start, here are a few important lessons I've learned: