quick clicks

preschoolers today articles

preschoolers today q&a

children today articles

children today q&a

community & groups

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

The Perfect Family

What is the That, Really?

By Shel Franco

By the time my son turned two, I desired a connection of my own. I prepared for my daughter. Once pregnant with my second child, I waited anxiously for the ultrasound. I knew a girl flourished in my womb. In the meantime, obnoxiously feminine names paraded through my mind, and I felt the urge to purchase all things pink.

The "big day" arrived four months into the pregnancy. What seemed like hours passed before the technician offered to reveal the baby's gender. Sweat poured from my palms. My heart raced. She smiled at my 2-year-old. "You're going to have a brother." My son laughed. My husband grinned from ear to ear, and I fought back tears.

The reality devastated me, but I couldn't be honest with anyone. I worried that my family and friends would find my thoughts disturbing. The shame of my feelings kept me silent. In secret, I entertained the pregnancy's end to free my womb for a little girl. How could I abandon my dreams of a daughter and accept this child as my son?

Despite the devastation, joy somehow filtered into my pregnancy. I recognized the baby moving inside me. Daydreams of my oldest son and his little brother provided me with endless satisfaction. By the time my baby boy arrived I felt pure exhilaration. This amazing creature stole my heart. And when I witnessed my first-born cradling his infant brother, I beheld perfection.