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Bump in the Night

How Can You Conquer Common Childhood Fears?

By Mark Stackpole

As the mother of five with a sixth on the way, Dawn Daniels of Farmington, Mich., has seen just about everything when it comes to children coping with their fears. When her oldest son, who is now 6 years old, was younger, he was terrified of having his finger poked for blood tests.

"When a young friend of ours developed juvenile diabetes and had to poke her finger several times a day, he watched in fascination," Daniels says. "The next time he went in, I gently reminded him of his friend having to poke her own finger many times a day. He took a deep breath and allowed the doctor to poke him."

When her preschool-aged daughter became terrified of bugs, Daniels and her family turned her fear into fun. "We made a game out of catching the bugs that got into the house," she says. "Her brothers caught them easily, and she wasn't going to be left out of the fun, so she learned to catch them, too. She no longer has any fear of bugs. In fact, she is probably the best bug-catcher that we have."

While facing such childhood fears as the dark, bugs and doctors is an important part of developing and maturing, parents do need to pay attention if the fears get out of hand.

Dr. Waters believes parents can begin to get concerned when children reject mastery or are unable to follow the lead of a parent. Another area of concern might occur when a fear is totally illogical or a child gets so upset that no kind of teaching or calming is possible. In extreme cases, consulting a professional might be appropriate, as there may be temperamental or biochemical reactions that are preventing the child from handling the fear appropriately.